Friday, July 25, 2014

Woke up this morning to yet another day of finding that chiari is something that reminds you daily that it is there.  My head felt like someone was hitting me in the back of my skull with a hammer.. thump, thump, thump... actually more like POUND, POUND, POUND.!!!!

I got up out of bed to find that I had one dose left of ibuprofen... ugh.. Not a good thing so today I have to remember to get more.. I don't want to have to get caught without relief..

I refuse to live on prescription pain killers..

I was told that chiarians best friend is a cup of coffee.. I believe it now..  it quickly helped the worst part of my headache.. now its just a dull ache as it usually is once again..  I hope that this kind of headache is not going to be a daily thing.. way too much pain to put up with on a daily basis already..

Facing surgery is a scary thing, but living life without possibility relief from this pain is worse..  There are many chiari sufferers that choose to not have the surgery.. I cannot be one of them.. these symptoms are coming on strong and fast.. getting worse day by day.. If I don't have the surgery, I fear it will be my demise...

In the midst of explaining to my husband how bad the headache was and how to would be easier for him to understand what is going on with my health if he would learn more about chiari and what other couples are going through with this condition. He rolled over and responded coldly

 "You are going to have to start thinking about something other than your chiari!"

 Like I should just brush my pain off like it is dirt on the bottom of my shoe. He acts like I have an option in not thinking about something that constantly causes me pain.

I work 40+ hours a week, and I have been having these symptoms for several years now, it is not until recently that they have increased to the point of being unbearable. have a very high pain threshold, and I suffer through my pain regardless of what I am doing.. Every time I move... every time I speak, every time I turn my head, every time I reach for something, every time I sit, every time I stand..  How can I not "think" about something that is in my head regardless of what I do??
My husband cam back from a weeks vacation in Florida, spent a lot of time with his old school buddies.. now he wants to move there... so he can enjoy life... with no worries...
Sounds great, except with this surgery I am facing, I think it is unrealistic to even think about doing that until after the surgery is over and I know what my limitations are, and that is if I survive it...  Yes the surgery is risky.. it is the brain they are messing with.  Complications can happen, and because they can happen.. patients are told to prepare for the worse case scenario..

So I will create somewhat of a bucket list...  a short one, as I really don't have a lot of time and energy to go traveling and such.



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